Thread:Davin111/@comment-29707934-20170214220316/@comment-29707934-20170219225708

I think that you really should scale down even more, it's by far your biggest problem in my opinion. You have lots of ideas, but the difficult things isn't soley coming up ideas, but also choose the best of those and expand them. You have more than enough ideas to make 2 or 3 stories with pleny of content and gimmicks. It's not that hard to come up with ideas and create rough stories, what makes a story truly great is when all the elements fit together, are engaging and are useful to the overall experience. If I were you, I would pick the ideas that go best together and expand them and how they interact with each other. You still have way to much story elements, which comes of as needlessly unfocused. The same goes for the ship. I don't find "a universe that's actuallly a giant ship that travels through a interdimensional void and devours other universes to extend it's own existance a bad idea and it even shows the mentality of the corporation. However if it's just something that's said, what's the point. It's not that mind-blowing a concept on its own, it has to have a purpose. Otherwise it just something that's said to needlessly drive the point home that the science fiction universe is very advanced and doesn't care about the well-being of other universes.

Well, I said that to create another parallel between Stacy and Mine. It's a good idea. However, you could also subvert this and make Stacy a very sheltered and spoiled child despite the high expectations of her mother. When she ran away, her mother couldn't cope with her percieved "ungratefulness" and the MC's influence. Thanks to her brain implant or something she became obsessed with killing the MC and conditioning her daughter to prevent such behaviour in the future. This is obviously just something I thought up while typing it, but the point is you could also create a contrast between Stacy and the MC (if he was somehow abused/looked down upon, which is very likly given the views of her mother/the corperation) by subverting this trope.

A noble bigot seems to be a more sympathetic character in general and is more prone to finding redemption. However I find the troubled sympathetic bigot more interesting as a character. It depends on what you  exactly want to do with her character.

Good luck with the tropical storm. I hope everything (including the internet) sustains as little damage as possible.